Disclaimer: The lies in the title refer to lies about Judaism, nothing more salacious. These lies are harmless, unless you take personal offense at his amusement at my gullibility.
Immersing yourself in a new culture can be difficult. You have a lot of new customs, traditions, and vocabulary thrown at you, and trying to make sense of it can be a bit overwhelming. I remember when my parents came to visit me in Italy and my mother repeatedly complimented our host's beautiful, non-existent swimming pool instead of their beautiful kitchen. In these situations, it can be helpful to have someone to translate the foreign and help you make sense of the unknown. For me, this person is my boyfriend, Moses*, who serves as my ambassador to all things Jewish. If only he were reliable.
The other day when riding in the car, the subject of ketubahs came up. Ketubahs are Jewish marriage contracts. While the word contract is about as romantic as the sound a ketchup bottle makes, the ketubah is a gorgeous document that many consider a work of art. Amidst flowering vines or colorful geometric shapes, the responsibilities of the couple is written in Aramaic, Hebrew, or even English, text. Once upon a time, this served as a way to protect the bride from financial issues, but now couples can personalize them to reflect more modern takes on marriage. To read more about how awesome and feminist ketubahs are, go here.
I commented on how beautiful Moses's sister's ketubah was, and he told me the mohel had done a really nice job. This surprised me. "Aren't mohels the ones who circumcise babies?" I asked (see, I do know some things).
"Right, but most are trained in calligraphy, too," Moses replied. "That way, they can serve in more than one religious capacity."
I ate it up. "That makes sense, seeing as how they need to have pretty stellar hand-eye coordination in both skills," I mused.
Some minutes passed. Finally, Moses said, "You know that's not true, right?" Then he laughed good and hard at the image of me complimenting his sister on the mohel's fine penmanship. I was not pleased.
Seriously, though...you do need strong hand-eye coordination for both of these jobs.
So, if something appears on this blog that seems off, it's not on me. I was probably lied to, and somewhere Moses is laughing at me. Any fact-checking on your part is much appreciated.
*My boyfriend would like henceforth to be called "Moses" since, like Moses leading the Jews out of Egypt, he is leading me to Judaism. Let's just hope he doesn't try and enforce this moniker in all facets of his life.
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